I nearly forgot this sad little blog existed. For now, all I can do is promise I’ll try to be more dilligent in the future. I remember it today, while brooding about USA Today posting an opinion article about the evils of atheists. Rediculous! The very notion is infuriating. Every single time I read one of these articles, insinuating Atheists are evil and christians are good, moral beings, I am infuriated! Most atheists are completely unassuming, we could give a damn about what you believe. I’ve never met another atheist that tried to force their lack of belief on anyone else. So why is it that christians feel they have a right to attempt to force their ideals on us?
I know, as someone who was once a christian, that christianity teaches that you should save the unsaved. Most atheists are not unsaved, we are disbelievers by choice. We’re not savages in need of rescue, we understand your religion, we simply choose not to believe in the existence of any god. Frankly, I understand religion better now than I did when I was a christian. Many atheists come to fail to believe through study. Careful, conscious effort to learn and the sudden, shattering realization that this thing you’ve been promised your entire life, by those who love you, is bunk. To come to realize that you’ve given your entire soul to believing in phantom spirits. It’s hard to find that heaven is not, and the only life you’ll ever really have is the one you spent half of believing in the unbelievable. Atheism is hard won, it’s an irreprable break.
Please, please don’t try to fix me. I’m not broken. I’m not immoral, not unethical, not a villian. I’m a person like any of you, I simply choose to give my only life to myself. And please, while we’re having this heart to heart, understand that atheism is not an active disbelief in god; that would make it a religion. Atheism is not a religion. Atheists do not assert that there is a god at all, we do not assert that there is any sort of spirituality, and lack of assertion does not require proof. Don’t tell me that I can’t be an atheist because I can no more prove god doesn’t exist than you can that he does. I don’t have to prove it, I’m not the one bringing the claim. I appreciate your effort on my behalf, but butt the fuck out. Waste your praying on your own life, please don’t even let my godlessness cross your mind.
If those who are persecuted in the name of christianity are going to heaven, I’m already going there by your standards, and you’re sending me. Don’t want an ever after full of atheists? Stop forcing me into your little religious box.
Okay, enough of that. I apologize if I’ve offended anyone, but I’m pretty damn offended myself. I’m hoping the next entry is more upbeat, but I’ll be honest, this is my place to let it all out. There are things I just can’t say to the people in my life, most of the people who love me don’t really know me. My life is almost completely inside, only my husband and my two best friends know who I really am. This is my place to be myself. Here’s to hoping I can make myself actually let it all out.
-Em
